Parenthood and Me

I always thought that by the time I was 30 I'd have a house full of kids and pets.  I'll be 31 next month and I have neither.  I'm not looking for sympathy or advice, I'm happy in my life.  Raym and I are still trying to have kids, and we still consider adoption.  I've been playing this game for almost 9 years now, and I got done crying about it 7 years ago.  What will be will be.  I'm not a kid hater though, and some people seem to think that Raym and I aren't having kids for selfish reasons.  Feel free to judge, I'm not going to suddenly start caring about your opinion.

I do have concerns about raising children though.  I am confident in my ability to be a good mother, but I wonder about the world I'd be bringing them into.  I see toddlers on leashes, 4th graders in booster seats, and wonder to myself about the lack of boundaries and consequences.  I supervise the nursery for children 18 mos. to 3 years at my church.  A surprising amount of them live their lives with no boundaries and no idea at all what NO means.  No is one of the first words you learn to speak, it should be one of the first words you understand.

I'm not talking about spanking your kids everyday before bed whether they need it or not, but if you are going to put your little snot on a leash don't judge me when I choose to swat my little brat's diaper padded butt in public.  I'm not above public embarrassment as punishment either, sometimes the only way you are going to learn to stop being a little jerk is to get your ass chewed in front of your peers or people you look up to.  BTW, it's not okay to be a little jerk.  Manners are important, such as not interrupting people when they are speaking, not wiping your booger/food crusted face all over their shirt while they are eating, not tearing apart the furniture, and hitting/kicking/biting anyone.  Most of all, it's about teaching this stuff at home through repetition and kindness so when I release my little hellions into the world we never have to go "there."  I have Zero respect for parents who are always yelling and swearing at their kids too, it's just as bad as the kid leash freak parade.

I totally anticipate a lot of work/heartache to have good kids that are happy being who they are and understand how to interact with other people.  I'll continue to be highly unpopular with the "cool parents" and sometimes I'll fail, but I'm not going to give up and I'm not going to abandon the all of the Old Ways.  Eating canned spinach is, in fact, a form of torture.  Learning to be a good citizen is not. Riding shotgun in your dad's work truck is a privilege, not child endangerment.  You probably shouldn't stand up though because you'll bounce your head off the dash when he hits the breaks--something you only learn by doing (consider it your first lesson in physics).

It's not all a rant at society either.  I look forward to teaching my little girls how to fish for Brookies, saddle their own horse, shoot a rifle, can fruit, tie a quilt, and make No Bake Cookies.  I can't wait to take my kids out to learn to drive in our old pick up.  Most of all I can't wait to share my parents with them.  Now, if I just had some kids...