Turkey, Ennui, and The BIG Questions

I had great Thanksgiving. It lasted a full two weeks. We kicked it off with a four-wheeling trip to Southern Utah with my family, had Thanksgiving with Raym's family, and then Raym and I had our own dinner Saturday after Thanksgiving. The details of my holiday are rather inconsequential, of course we had fun, but it's the kind of mind numbing stuff that other people listen to feigning interest and waiting for me to shut up so they can get on with their lives (I'm on to you, and now I suppose you are on to me too).

So why bring it up at all? Well, I had 1100 miles of meditation. I don't know how many times I've been up and down I-15 between St. George and The Valley, but it seems like a lot. There is basically nothing of real interest, except a good laugh when you reach what my family calls the the Fillmore-Beaver Region. Mostly though, it's miles and miles of open space. As for the drive to Myton, at least it's pretty until you pass Vernal.

Raymond loves books on tape. He can follow a story that way, not I. I catch bits and pieces, but the whole of it is lost to me, but this is okay because it takes care of all the conversation. I don't really sleep well in the car either, and I can't read or watch a movie, I'll throw up. So I do what they did back in the old days, I look out the window and watch stuff. More importantly, I am auditing my mental files. Ranging out into my metal wilderness and seeing what there is to see.

I found some neato-burrito stuff this time; some real gems, and a couple of antiques I forgot about. Being Thanksgiving, it gave me a treasure map, so I focused on that. I won't bore you with the details of all my findings, but I will share three things that I think really matter.

First of all, we've got it pretty good. Not just my family and extended family. All of us collectively, or if you would like a number I'm going with 95% of the population here in the West. As you drive past all the little towns and big cities along the Interstate, you notice that our standard of living is pretty high. Go into a few stores and restaurants and you see that we could probably miss a few meals too. Yet, you often hear people whining about things, "If only The Man wasn't keeping us down then, well, then we'd really be living." Over stupid stuff too. Like a can of refried beans going up 15 Cents. Really, is that all there is that's wrong in your life? The French have a word for it. Ennui (ahn-wee), it basically means that once you've had your fill, you get bored. I think that so many of us live comfortable, content lives that we have grown bored with and find little things to complain about. Now, I'm sure you don't suffer from this, and you can probably give me plenty of examples of people who don't; whatever, you're as full of B.S. as I am. I don't have a solution, maybe we should all go skydiving or get a new tattoo. Better yet, maybe we should just learn to be quiet.

Second of all, Quiet is expensive and therefore, exclusive. Maybe not in monetary terms, but it takes a huge personal investment to be truly Quiet. People spend $$$ on Spa Treatments and Therapy, and they may never actually achieve Quiet. Some of us spend hours doing Yoga or running, and will never get there. If you have ever had it in your own life, even fleetingly, you know it is worth whatever you have to do to get it again. If you are confused at this point, I'm sorry I'll give you an example of Quiet. My brother is a rock climber, and while I don't do it, I appreciate what it takes. He can be hanging off a rock cliff by his middle finger and big toe, yet remain completely calm. Sometimes he crashes pretty hard, gets ligament injuries, and wears all the skin off his hands. There are times though, when he completes a really hard route, and gets to lay in the sun with a cool drink in his hand and be one with the universe. I can sometimes get a second or two of Quiet when I'm taking nature photographs. I am by no means good at it, but occasionally I get something good, and I know it, and all is right with my world.

Third and finally, you need a family. Not like "Hey they're nice so appreciate yours." It's more than that. Maybe your family is bogus and stupid and they don't "get" you, or you're lucky like me and your family forms an elite cadre of adventurers and romantics. You need them. No matter how good your network of friends is you still need a family. Your family relationship helps you measure things correctly. The true weight of responsibility. The real time it's taken you to get where you are. The actual miles of your personal journey. I'll probably come back to this in future blog entries, because this needs more explaining.

These things make up the some of the chewy truth nuggets I've found in the last week or so. Feel free to add or share your ideas.

Who Is The Invisible Woman?

I've had several people tell me I need to start and keep a blog now. So here it goes I guess.

I've chosen to call this Adventures of The Invisible Woman, because I'm a photographer; you get to see what I see, but you very seldom see me. I like it that way, even when I'm not packing a camera around. Let me site precedence: I drive a white 4 Door GMC Pick-Up, possibly the most inconspicuous vehicle of our time. I work at a hardware store mostly in the back away from all the people. I live in a cul-de-sac and my front porch is hidden by large trees. I keep track of a lot of people that I like, but don't do much socially (ever try to find me when I'm not at work? good luck!)

So why write a blog? Why take pictures? Well, that is easy I'm not a hermit, I just want to fly under the radar. Selfish? Yes. It's a lot like picking out only the best parts of a fruit salad, I get all strawberries and pineapple, but leave the grapes and bananas for other people. Some people like the bananas and grapes, and in my game we all win. Let me put it another way: Life is too short to waste your time on things that don't matter to you, and I've cut out all the things that don't matter to me. I travel light.

I have a simple set of guidelines that I follow. Sometimes they change, but mostly it's like this:

1. Don't dither. Spending 45 minutes to make a decision is pointless and stupid. You know what you want just do it.

2. Accept things as they are. Do I wish people around me always acted in an acceptable manner? Yes, but they don't and it doesn't matter. Do I wish I could control the outcome of every situation I'm in? Yes, but I can't and that doesn't matter either.

3. Do your best, then walk away. The best way to ruin a good thing? Expect it to keep being good. The best way to fix a bad thing? Leave it alone. Timing is everything, and learning to make your exit is important. I ALWAYS have an exit strategy.

Do my guidelines always work? I'm pretty happy. Do I screw up? Sometimes but, guideline 3 is the stop loss. I've often told people that once they stop caring, life gets really easy. That is an over simplification, but it gets my point across. If you would think about it, which is what I'm really asking you to do, what it means is stop worrying about things outside of your control. Kill all the time/energy suckers in your life. Give the excess baggage to someone who wants it.

So what do I care about? What does matter? Aside from my family; Raym, Mom, Dad and Seth? Well that is simple. I'm looking for the truth. I'm not talking about conspiracy theories and government cover-ups. It's a little less tangible than that and a little easier to find. In our over Photo-Shopped, glossed-over world, I'm looking for the tasty little nuggets of reality. Things as they really are. The picture I chose this week? A spot created by my lens looks like a UFO. Good for a laugh, and I think it makes my point quite well indeed.