It Really Is Goodbye

I just started using Google+ today.  LOVE IT.  For many reasons, but mostly because I think it combines everything I like about facebook, twitter, and blogspot.  It puts everything together, I can post everything that I would spread out over these three sites in one place and still only have the people who want/need to read it see it.  It's not a shotgun approach like facebook.  Any of you who are my friends there know my policy on vaguebooking and/or being too specific, which really limits what you can share.  I've always thought that facebook and twitter were a shotgun approach to social networking. Throw a lot of information out there and hope it hits something.  Google+ lets me catch up with my awesome cousins in a more personal way without everyone who ever went to school with or goes to my church reading it.  So this is the last of my blog.  If you want an invitation to Google+ let me know, I'll be glad to get you going.  I look forward to having a "hang out" with you soon.  Don't know what a hang out is?  http://edition.englishclub.com/esl-magazine/google-plus/

Random Catness

I really try to keep my inner cat lady under wraps.  Occasionally, I just have to talk about my stupid cats.  Malcom, that's the pretty boy on the top, is a lovable pain in the ass.  Radnar, the orange kitty on the bottom, is the best cat I've ever had.  They keep me from climbing the water tower and starting a genocide.

Malcom (AKA Mal, Mally, Malfs, Maliburton, Malibu, Mowler, Malfurs, Murderface Murderface Murderface, and more recently Malfeasance) has decided he knows how to use a keyboard.  He'll climb on my lap while I'm editing in Photo Shop and then pushes buttons.  I don't always know how to fix the things he's done, so I end up starting over.  Then he pats my face with his paws while mewing and purring at me while a swear at him in six different languages.  That's one of my hidden talents, I can swear in English, French, Spanish, Cantonese, Japanese, and Gaelic.  In fact Malcom just started chewing on my camera's USB cable and I told him diu lei lo mo.  You don't want to know what it means.  It really doesn't help, the only thing that does is cuddling him up into a little kitten ball and telling him how pretty he is until he falls asleep or leaves.  He weighs 14 lbs., this is no small feat.  I mostly swear at him in Cantonese though because I think he might be Asian.  He really wants to give everyone he meets a full mani-pedi and facial with his sandpaper tongue.

Radnar (AKA Fatty Raddy, Agent Orange, Orange Surprise, Toilet Kitten, Drinker of The Forbidden Waters, Scabby Tabby, Mellow Yellow, Stinkerton Von Schmeltz, Vesuvius Dangerkitten, but mostly Rads) is easy going and pretty hilarious.  You may wonder why so many of his nicknames are just a little disgusting, well, he's a little disgusting.  You may have gathered that he likes to drink from the toilet, not just any toilet though, the guest bathroom toilet.  I catch him all the time since he learned how to open the door himself.  He just stares at you with his cat arm hanging over the bowl like "Why ya gotta be a playa hata?" when you try to shoo him out.  Then when you are in there doing your thing he tries to stick his paws under the door and talks to you in a series of howls and chirps.  Indeed.

His other famous move is to snuggle up on your lap and go to sleep (also a 14lb. cat), which isn't so bad until your legs fall asleep or he pulls his other amazing stunt.  He is the only cat I know that farts out loud.  Hence, Stinkerton Von Schmeltz.  Not cool Raddy, old boy.  Scabby Tabby is a little less obvious, mostly because you can't see his tail in this picture.  He got it caught in something and broke it, half of it is now dead.  The vet says to be patient, eventually it will fall off.  Now there's something to get excited about.  Even though he's kinda gross, he's my little buddy.  Rads loves hanging out with you, and unlike Malcom he doesn't get all up in your business.  When I'm having a rough day Rads will perch up on my computer desk and do his version of cat stand-up until I laugh.  I don't get the jokes, be he really sells it.  So that's what is going on behind the scenes when I do a photo shoot for you or your family.  A lot of what my mom calls "Cat Badness" or "Random Catness."

Parenthood and Me

I always thought that by the time I was 30 I'd have a house full of kids and pets.  I'll be 31 next month and I have neither.  I'm not looking for sympathy or advice, I'm happy in my life.  Raym and I are still trying to have kids, and we still consider adoption.  I've been playing this game for almost 9 years now, and I got done crying about it 7 years ago.  What will be will be.  I'm not a kid hater though, and some people seem to think that Raym and I aren't having kids for selfish reasons.  Feel free to judge, I'm not going to suddenly start caring about your opinion.

I do have concerns about raising children though.  I am confident in my ability to be a good mother, but I wonder about the world I'd be bringing them into.  I see toddlers on leashes, 4th graders in booster seats, and wonder to myself about the lack of boundaries and consequences.  I supervise the nursery for children 18 mos. to 3 years at my church.  A surprising amount of them live their lives with no boundaries and no idea at all what NO means.  No is one of the first words you learn to speak, it should be one of the first words you understand.

I'm not talking about spanking your kids everyday before bed whether they need it or not, but if you are going to put your little snot on a leash don't judge me when I choose to swat my little brat's diaper padded butt in public.  I'm not above public embarrassment as punishment either, sometimes the only way you are going to learn to stop being a little jerk is to get your ass chewed in front of your peers or people you look up to.  BTW, it's not okay to be a little jerk.  Manners are important, such as not interrupting people when they are speaking, not wiping your booger/food crusted face all over their shirt while they are eating, not tearing apart the furniture, and hitting/kicking/biting anyone.  Most of all, it's about teaching this stuff at home through repetition and kindness so when I release my little hellions into the world we never have to go "there."  I have Zero respect for parents who are always yelling and swearing at their kids too, it's just as bad as the kid leash freak parade.

I totally anticipate a lot of work/heartache to have good kids that are happy being who they are and understand how to interact with other people.  I'll continue to be highly unpopular with the "cool parents" and sometimes I'll fail, but I'm not going to give up and I'm not going to abandon the all of the Old Ways.  Eating canned spinach is, in fact, a form of torture.  Learning to be a good citizen is not. Riding shotgun in your dad's work truck is a privilege, not child endangerment.  You probably shouldn't stand up though because you'll bounce your head off the dash when he hits the breaks--something you only learn by doing (consider it your first lesson in physics).

It's not all a rant at society either.  I look forward to teaching my little girls how to fish for Brookies, saddle their own horse, shoot a rifle, can fruit, tie a quilt, and make No Bake Cookies.  I can't wait to take my kids out to learn to drive in our old pick up.  Most of all I can't wait to share my parents with them.  Now, if I just had some kids...